I’m still trying to understand what was happening in George Square in Glasgow at the weekend. I’ve only seen a few phone recordings that people uploaded and it looks like there was a huge game of football happening…but no ball! I remember games of football in the playground at school where there was a ball, surrounded by two teams of up to 20 boys (generally) all trying to stick one of their legs into a tangled mass of other legs…to ‘get possession’ of the ball. (Although, to be honest, the only person who ever ‘possessed’ the ball was the kid who brought it to school…he was the ultimate resolver of disputes – “It’s ma baw’!”) The ball was the focus of energy in playground football and he, who actually ‘possessed’ the ball was king! He set the agenda! The other kids were merely followers of one side or the other.

I couldn’t make out the focus of the George Square game! I think there were two teams. The most obvious team was the Police in hi-viz but they seemed to be like a team of referees. The other team were white men between 16 and 50 years old who apparently were there to defend some statues (but maybe they don’t really care about the statues really!). The only people I could see that may have been a danger to the statues were a couple on a bench with a cardboard sign saying Black Lives Matter (Maybe they were the ball??) And it looked like the 16-50 team were a mixture of ex-army and football fans. At one point, in one of the videos, they seemed to be the dominant ball-chasers, the ones making the first move to get the ball and the Police were just responding to them running. Anyhoo…I was reminded of an atom, with a nucleus in the middle and all the energy flying around it – Much like the playground football game. The only difference…was that I couldn’t see the ball. The ball was meant to be there and all the energy was moving as if the nucleus was there…but I couldn’t see it!

It was a little bit different in London – The Police were there and the 16-50’s were there protecting the statues too…but there was a bigger contingent of Black Lives Matter protesters (mostly made up of BAME 16-50’s.) I didn’t see the same playground football game because, at some point, the two 16-50’s met…resulting in many swinging handbags (meme) However…in the midst of all the 16-50 ‘energy’, some humanity surfaced with the picture of Patrick Hutchinson carrying one of the other team off the pitch after the guy was fouled!

• 

• 

Wait…but where’s the ball in all of this? Who’s in possession? Who has the ball? What is the ball anyway? This all started with George Floyd (who is black) saying “I can’t breathe!”, while a cop (who is white) is kneeling on his neck, so…the ball is racism? Nope! But…George Floyd’s death has come to represent the ‘in-your-face’ continuation of historic racism. Yep…that sounds right. Which is why anti-racist protesters began targeting the statues of the past – statues of people who benefited from slavery, at a time when racism was glorified. Okay, I get that! What about the other team?

The other team, the protectors of statues? The “All Lives Matter” team? Don’t they agree that Black Lives Matter? They must…because they say All Lives Matter, so that must mean that Black Lives Matter too! Right? Thank feck! So, they are just protecting the statues? Protecting Britain’s past? Protecting the empire? Well…the common denominator in the white 16-50s would seem to be ‘protecting the status-quo’ of in-equality and in-justice. It seems to me…that Empires are steeped in in-equality and in-justice! Who would want to protect that? Well, that would be…those that benefit from it I guess!!!

So, in the analogy of playground football – there is a ball, surrounded by two teams all trying to stick one of their legs into a tangled mass of other legs to ‘get possession’ of the ball. But the ball is the property of the Establishment, the ultimate resolver of disputes – “It’s ma baw’!” The history of Empire, has set the agenda! The teams you are watching in these clashes, don’t make the rules and they can’t change anything. They are not in possession of the ball. They are the other kids…they are just followers. They are the ones with all the energy. Oh the drama! Who’s going to get possession, who’s going to win? Will change happen or will in-equality continue? Who are you cheering on?

I was watching Kimberley Jones on YouTube. She co-authored a book (another book I haven’t read!) titled “I’m not dying with you tonight”. Her rant on racism following the George Floyd murder is passionate and the phrase that struck a chord with me was “They are lucky that black people are looking for equality and not revenge” after over 400 years of slavery and racism. It’s very true! Whoever knew the name Edward Colston before his statue was pulled down by protesters in Bristol and thrown in the river?

Also, I’ll be listening in to the Craig Murray hearing tomorrow (10th June at 10am). Craig has been charged with Contempt of Court because he reported on the Alec Salmond case (along with the majority of the Scottish Media), where the accusers were granted anonymity. However, it is argued that enough information was written about the ‘The Alphabet Women’ to enable anyone to know the identity of one of them. Craig Murray didn’t divulge enough information to do that but many in the Scottish Press did…but they are not being charged! I am of the opinion that Craig’s charge is purely political. So, I wrote to the Scottish Judiciary to ask to attend the Hearing, which I can do remotely. I also wrote to the Hearing Judge , Lord Wolfe, to remind him that “…the future is watching.” Okay…it’s a very dramatic thing to say…but it’s also true!

And…It all ties-in to the idea that people who believe in their own ‘exceptionalism’ are stupid – Especially if they have children! If you have children, how can you not want to make the world a better place? How does a rich person explain ‘poverty’ to their child? How can the Reece-Moggs of the world explain their elitism to their children? Eventually…surely…everyone must come to an understanding that poverty is wrong, oppression is wrong, corruption is wrong, etc. There seems to be a collective collusion at work when we just carry on with our lives. Like Bruce Hornsby and the Range sang about in “The way it is“…It’s only the way it is because we haven’t changed it…yet.

I believe in Karma! I think that the descendants of anyone who benefits from Racism, Corruption, Greed, etc will be shown for who their ancestors were. Imagine if Hitler had children – What kind of guilt-ridden life would they have had? I think Kimberley Jones was right…white people are lucky that black people don’t want revenge for hundreds of years of oppression. Rich people are lucky that poor people aren’t armed with pitchforks. Westminster (the British Empire) is lucky to have lasted so long! Isn’t it time that some changes are made? The way it is doesn’t have to be the way it is!

This is not a music blog! This is not a Diary! Why are you here?

In all honesty…I can’t write a blog on Music! My mission statement is “In Search of a Song to Change the World“. I used to think that, anyone who wrote a tune was actually searching for the tune which would make them relevant in Music. It seemed to me that people used to try to write ‘a hit record’, something insanely popular, something incredibly viral, catchy or something that would propel them to their end goal…fame, fortune or whatever. I did that too…but I have no idea what my end goal was – maybe it was just relevance! I know I would hate fame. Money doesn’t drive me. Attention seeking? Honestly, I have no idea!

I also used to think that Art mattered. I used to think that Art could incite ‘change’, Art could cause a revolution in thought, Art could inspire! However, in the perfect dichotomy of all truth, I have since found that to be both true and false…Maybe, is the answer to all things! I recently watched an interview by Mary Beard of Sir Donald McCullin (No, I’m not going to talk about feckin’ Knighthoods and ‘gongs’) – Don McCullin was a Photographer of Conflicts. (“Lockdown Culture with Mary Beard“) He clearly struggles with his past career – “I hate being known as a war photographer.” He now lives in Somerset and photographs the “Stillness of Nature” in an attempt at mental harmony. I was struck by how despondent he was about his conflict photography when he said his house contained 60,000 conflict images and they were “…like a contagion…” in his home. He spoke about his past need/desire to get the images he captured into print…but questioned what effect they had – When one conflict finished, another one began somewhere else! That’s the ultimate effect of Art…fuck all! Showing dreadful images to the ‘man on the street’ had no effect on the War-Monger Elite.

How many US Movies have you seen which highlight the immoral intervention of American troops somewhere in the world for Business and Profit? Has it changed anything? How many “I, Daniel Blake” movies does it take before the ‘man on the street’ votes for socialism instead of Tory Self-Servatism? It’s a Con! It’s our collusive delusion!

Writing tunes is my diversion and it only fixes me. I’ll never write a tune to change the world…it’s not possible! They are written for me! My topics are restricted by my fear of hurting people – I really try not to publish my catharsis…it’s kept private. So, this isn’t a blog – A blog invites comment, discussion, views and opinions and, to be honest, my head is bludgeoned from the out-pourings of one particular past source. Enjoyment of Music is personal…end of story.

This is not a diary either! A diary should contain secrets or thoughts too boring to say out loud and should only be published postumously. In any event, a diary is a tedious contract.

_{This morning…our heating didn’t come on! It was 21 degrees at 10:30am, so the thermostat worked! It’s the first morning, since we arrived, that we haven’t needed the heating on!}

_{We made an earlier start than usual to go shopping…normally we would go shopping at around 1pm…and it was jumping! All supermarkets now operate a one-in one-out policy, so we waited in a queue of 16 before we finally got to the door and I realised that we didn’t have a pound coin for a trolley. Isn’t it funny how simple things are more of a disaster when it’s hot? By the time I had retrieved a pound coin from the car, another 16 people had joined the queue. Anne used her doe-eyes to plead a coin-less trolley from the lady in front of her…but I didn’t have the required doe-eyes (or arrogance) to push back to the front, so I waited the new queue of 16 and met up with her inside. I love Aldi (did I mention I’m a cheapskate?) Jeezy peeps…31p for Digestives…come on?}

From ‘The Diary that Never Was!” – H.McMillan

This is not a diary! There are no secrets to be found here. I am merely, a little old ginger spec somewhere in existence, watching the sunset while I pick fluff from my belly-button. I do have occasional moments…moments of pause…and moments still to come! Tunes still to be recorded and words still to be said, maybe! I’ve written a poem called ‘It’s Ower!’ which should never reach daylight. It’s written in old Scots and quite honest on personal events. It uses the harshness and flippancy of the language to ridicule the notion of ‘Prestige’ that someone seeks and it plays with the format of e e cummings to layer venom in the font. I enjoyed writing it but it should never be read. It’s Art…it would make no difference anyway! Maybe!

To be fair…in many ways, this is what retirement is like! For all of you young dudes and dude-esses…if you are not a key worker, you are kind-of, sort-of retired from society…in a way! The part that’s kind-of, sort-of similar is…that you get to relax about the things you can’t control. You know the Serenity Prayer? (I’m an athiest but I recognise the wisdom in it):

…grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.^[1]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer

This lockdown requires us to accept the things we cannot change, which is exactly like ‘retirement’ – Being put out to grass means you need to get used to eating grass or smoking grass (or in my case, drinking beer). It also requires us to change how we live…adjust or make the required changes to how we do things. As a society, we can only hope that we can make the required changes.

There’s a Stephen King quote from The Shawshank Redemption – “Fear can hold you prisoner – Hope can set you free.” I definitely agree with that…however, it’s also true that hope can hold you prisoner too! Imagine you are heading for a bus stop, late for work or whatever, and there is a bus which has just passed you but there is someone at the stop, so the bus will stop and you might catch it…if you run…as fast as you can. I would argue that once you decide that you won’t make it…then you are free to relax, walk, light a fag (if that’s your thing), take in the scenery and get the next bus. You are released from the hope of catching it! However…if someone else makes it to the bus stop, then that means the bus will have to delay maybe another 20 seconds while they get on-board…you might still make it! Dun Dun Duuuuuun! Run sucker! The point I’m trying to make is that while there is hope you have to try…but while there is no hope, there’s no expectation of making it…take the time to construct the excuse you’ll have to give to your boss/ manager/ wife/ dentist/ CIA handler! There is no hope of things returning to ‘normal’ and it would be wise to get used to it. On the plus side, who knows, maybe this will help local communities develop? On the one hand, people seem to be genuinely trying to help each other. While, on the other hand, heightened anxiety means heightened suspicion. If you are out in an open space, everyone sees each other as a potential Bio-Hazard – another example of fear keeping us prisoner.

Another thing which keeps us prisoner is Greed! Isn’t it quite sad that the UK and US aren’t prepared to share their research on the Coronavirus because they want to make money from it? I have to agree with Craig Murrays blog on the article in the Guardian – “On 5 May, the British security services released to their pet media the claim that Russia, China and Iran were attempting to hack into British research institutes conducting coronavirus research.” Craig suggests that the real story isn’t the attempted cyber-crime but the UK and US failure to share their research during a Pandemic. Craig suggests that British Security Services released the story – “The BBC reported it. Britain’s shameful copy and paste media all, without exception, just copy and pasted the government press release.“

Especially sad because it’ll take the combined efforts of all nations, to help people adjust to a ‘new normal’ – living with this virus. In fact, if we think about this objectively, it has been recognised for years now that we (us, you, me, everybody) have been vulnerable to a virus threat. And, as Peter Bell points out in his blog “It’s the end of the world as we know it“, we might consider ourselves lucky that the Coronavirus wasn’t worse – The emergence of ‘a’ virus was predictable but the virus which emerged, as bad as it is, could have had a greater damage-potential on us. If you want to understand what the Coronavirus does inside a body, have a look at the Ninja Nerd Science channel on YouTube.

Meanwhile, we sit on our spreading arses, bloated to buggery and red-eyed from Netflix, or whatever colourful beads of distraction we choose. My chosen distraction is writing, recording and mixing, however I’m currently cooking my arse off (I believe that’s the term), trying to learn Gaelic and taking pictures of things I never noticed before. Here’s a picture of a Field Mouse…I shall call him Boaby! You’re welcome!

That all seems a bit random…

The rain is easy to elaborate on because our local Sheep Farmer, Ginny, wants to put sheep in the field. What’s the sheep got to do with the rain??? Well, she was waiting for rain in order for the nutrients, that were spread recently on the field below us, to get absorbed by the grass…in order that it would grow better…in order that she could move some sheep with lambs into the field. Everything in order! Now, we can recognise the connection between the rain and the sheep. That’s kind-of how things work in our human understanding of the world – we make linear connections – cause and effect – if/then/else.

For example, I was chopping wood again yesterday with the short-handled, heavy axe – it’s an old 1lb axe-head that I found outside and I think it would have originally had a long shaft but I’ve attached it to a small shaft from an old hand-axe that I had. Anyhoo…I was chopping with this axe…and I should explain that have adopted a Kung-Fu chopping style, where I lift the axe to shoulder height and…once I have visualised the exact strike line after having a good look at the woodgrain…I push the axe high and extend my arm in a widening arc while increasing the strike force. There is a kind-of block on any feedback information until the wood is struck – essentially time stops…you might have noticed…well, yes it’s my fault…we are talking milliseconds here! It’s all very Ninja and efficient and, generally, my aim is good and my visualisation and understanding of the wood is good. But, occasionally…because my arm gets tired…or because I didn’t read the wood well enough…or because I didn’t place the wood in a good position…or, there’s a passing alien spaceship or whatever…Anyhoo, occasionally things don’t go to plan! Yesterday contained such an occasional moment and I didn’t place the wood well enough…or whatever, so the axe deflected a little which meant…my hand hit the wood. (Which it’s not supposed to…it’s not that kind of Kung Fu!) No big deal…a couple of finger knuckles were bleeding, requiring Dettol and Elastoplasts! Anyhoo…while I was fussing over my hand…I recognised how similar my Dad’s hands were to mine. Okay, my hands are soft and gentile compared to his – He worked as a Scrap Dealer most of his life and had a wee shop in the Gorbals, under Gorbals St Railway Bridge.

• 

• 

His hands were so rough and cracked that he used to wash his hands with DAZ soap powder when he came home. Incidentally, he once hit his left, index-finger with a hand axe and ended up with a 2 inch scar!!

In his shop, he would buy old lead piping and some of it would have solder-joints or solder repairs on it…and because solder was worth more than lead, he used to chop off the solder joints for melting down later (a Saturday job I used to enjoy doing with a blow-torch!) Anyhoo…If I shut my eyes and feel my own hands…I can imagine holding my Dad’s hands! Cool!

So, getting back to ‘order’ and how it affects our understanding of the world… You’re struggling to understand why my Dad’s hands are being used as an example. What have they got to do with ‘order’? What’s the connection to anything?? I can reveal…Everything and nothing! Not joking! Actually ‘everything’ and ‘nothing’! You might have struggled to make any connection because there is nothing obvious in the story connecting chopping wood to my Dad’s hands in the same way as the rain/grass/sheep story does. However, I went from chopping wood, damaging knuckles and feeling my own hands as my Dad’s. I have 50% of his genetics, which helped to shape my hands…so, of course…I feel a kind-of genetic reproduction of his hands. They are a modelled on 50% of his genetics! We…Us…Humans make the connections! Everything we ‘know’…all of Science…even everything we believe…are because we make all the connections. We construct our own understanding of the world by the connections we make. We make ‘order’ of the world (Note: We don’t make order ‘in’ the world 🙂 ).

Personally, I think everything is connected and we only gain an understanding of a thing when we ‘make’ a linear connection, which we think explains it – Then, we think we know. (I think!) That’s how, what we call, ‘knowledge’ works! Knowledge and Belief are essentially the same!

And what about Anne’s Kaleidoscope eye?

Well, this morning (and I am going to use Anne’s words here!)…this morning, she described her left eye like having a fragment from a Kaleidoscope in the corner. When asked to clarify, she said it was like blurry, fizzing bubbles! Now…we don’t do drugs (we don’t need them!) although we occasionally drink alcohol (I’m just learning still!) But, we think she had an Ocular Migraine (Different from the migraine you jokingly suggest is a result of reading this blog, 😛 ) And…according to the diagram of connections in Wikipedia, it turns out that Ocular Migraine is caused by ‘dis-order’! Jeez…wid ye look at that? I’ve even made another connection to ‘order’. Must be time for more beer! Thankfully, none of these apply in Anne’s case and, if you have ever had a Migraine yourself, you will probably decide that the diagram is a bit ‘over-the-top’ in a doom-and-gloom, dis-orderly sort of way! It doesn’t allow for a Migraine connection to ‘too much coffee’ or ‘de-hydration’ or ‘me talking too much’! It turns out…it’s only someone-else ordering their migraine world, in a rain/grass/sheep sort-of way!

Yesterday was a day for Vitamin D…

Vitamin D is a fat-soluble vitamin that is naturally present in very few foods, added to others, and available as a dietary supplement. It is also produced endogenously when ultraviolet rays from sunlight strike the skin and trigger vitamin D synthesis.

https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/VitaminD-HealthProfessional/

…and in most parts of the British Isles there has been some sun! Sorry if you didn’t see it…but we are very lucky living at Loch Earn because we were already fairly isolated before Covid-19…and we can go out in the garden. We do have neighbours – the Gamekeeper’s cottage is 50 yds from us and they’re hosting another couple who were trapped here during lockdown and haven’t been able to go home – but we are lucky to have the garden and a little greenhouse. The greenhouse acts like a little conservatory in the morning, where we can have breakfast, before it gets too hot (Yes, even in Scotland, the greenhouse can get to 40c) But, it’s important, very important during these lockdown-days, to get some sun. Whether that’s from being out or by pushing some flesh out through an open window. So, while it’s sunny, we have been outside most of the day…and, because of lockdown, we have taken to watching the birds.

So far, the birds we have seen are: Chaffinch, Goldfinch, Great Tit, Pied Wagtail, Woodpecker, Red Kite, Buzzard, Dunnock, Pheasant, Pigeon, Seagull, Shag, Oyster Catcher, Heron, Crow, Blackbird, Sparrow, Swallow, House Martin, Wren, Owl, Canada Geese, Grebe, Mallard, a Skuar? And…an Osprey! Oh, and we have also heard a Cuckoo but haven’t seen it. We may have seen other birds of prey as well…that we have been mistaking for Buzzards. I am using the royal ‘we’ because I know hee-haw about birds! (They fly, they sing and they shite.) The Chief Science Officer here at Findoglen, whose birthday is today, is Anne 🙂 …and she has a book which helps her identify what we’re seeing. (“The Complete Book of British Birds” by the AA and RSPB, Foreword by Magnus Magnusson)

Currently, the small birds are great to watch but, because I’ve been chopping some ‘old’ wood for the fire, I have had an enthusiastic audience in Prince the pheasant. Prince has been hanging around the birdtable with his missus (Philomenea) and he is getting more confident! He was getting enthusiastic because as I was chopping some old wood and there were beetles and slaters falling from it, which he was interested in. He was happily coming very close (3 ft) and I think I’ll have him eating out of my hands soon. He makes some adorable little happy-noises when he’s eating!

We also were out getting more wood yesterday. Whichever company it is that owns the power-lines to the house , (can’t remember who it is but we’re supplied through Pure Planet) Anyhoo… they were out recently cutting-down any trees/growth within the long, 10 metre, clearway along the length of their cables. So, they left lots of chopped tree-trunks some up to 7 inches thick and we were out with the trailer collecting them. (That was our exercise for the day!)

Tomorrow’s exercise will be a walk down to the shoreline around noon to see if the Osprey comes back (we’ve seen it twice around that time!) *** Update: It didn’t! ***

We are already…pretty isolated. In addition to which, I have very few friends! (Pause for effect!) Actually, there are loads of people that I would consider friends, but I don’t see them or talk to them very often…I mean, really! Very rarely! So, I suppose, yes…it’s possible that they don’t think of me as a friend – just someone they met, once! I’m not going to name names, just to prove it…you will just have to believe me!

Anyhoo…yesterday, we made four new friends…from a distance. Four, off-duty Unicorns!

They are actually, working ponies who bring down deer from the hill after a shoot, as per tradition in this part of Scotland. I like these ponies…they are very pretty.

I used to look after a donkey once-upon-a-time, (I was around 13yrs old) when I stayed over with a friend in Rothesay (See…one of my friends, like I said!). His dad, Bob Beattie, owned it along with a couple of ponies and our job was to get them from the field, near the Meadows, and take them down to the beach to do ‘Pony Rides’ for the tourists and day-trippers – loved it! The donkey also had a cart, which I took out sometimes, kitted-out with a poster-board, advertising the up-coming show at the Winter Gardens (Now called the Discovery Centre) and decorated with lots and lots and lots of balloons. The balloons turned out to be a bad idea though… because of the number of Holly bushes around the Theatre and, of-course, the effect the bursting balloons had on the speed of the donkey! I loved that donkey! I loved the softness and the smell of it’s muzzle. Like I say…one of my many friends.

Anyhoo…that was yesterday’s walk along the loch side.

Today’s walk was a bit more strenuous – Up the hill behind the house, where we saw many other friends. I don’t know their names though…we just call them sheep! I like to acknowledge them in a broad Scots accent, “Hey, ewe!” (*Note to Farmers: It’s Comedy! We know it’s Lambing Season, so we avoid disturbing any sheep…And, we want to see as many prancing lambs as we possibly can! xxx) I’ll tell you what though…the sheep have a wonderful outlook. All of which, allows me to segway into a picture I took while up the hill – my bestest friend, Anne, looking-out over the loch (…looking ‘sheep-ish’? Fine…be like that!)